Letter 15

May 14, 2009
Balad, Iraq

Everyone:

Again, I must apologize for the slow correspondence with everyone. The clinic has been extremely busy over the past several weeks. Additionally, the semester was ending at Butler and I was working toward finishing off the semester. I am very thankful that the semester is over so that I can hopefully work to finish my dissertation. I suppose that by now everyone has read/watched about the massive tragedy in Baghdad where a soldier went into a combat stress clinic and killed 5 people. It has created an amazing amount of tension here in Iraq. It is almost overwhelming for us as soldiers to comprehend one of our “brothers” shooting a fellow soldier. It is bad enough to deal with the daily stress of indirect fire attacks and the chance of being killed by the enemy, but to have a fellow soldier commit fratricide is unthinkable. The sad item is that two of the 5 people killed were reserve doctors from Indiana. Part of the unit that lost the soldiers is stationed here in Balad. Our unit/medical providers especially feel the pain of this horrific act as the mental health specialist are fellow medical care givers, and are reserve soldiers from Indiana. It just shows that anything can happen at anytime, anywhere. Please pray for the families of these soldiers as the loss of loved ones is hard, but the loss like this is even more difficult. Pray for SGT Russell’s family (the shooter) that they may find peace with what their son did.

Perhaps it is the multiple deployments, the time away from home, or whatever the news will give you as a cause for this action. I will tell you that I have been on multiple deployments to different combat zones totaling about 30 months in < 5 years. This is stressful! The military recognizes this and there are stress clinics on just about every base here in Iraq and in Afghanistan. There is help everywhere! We have lectures every three months on suicide/homicide prevention. Soldiers also generally take care of each other…this sort of act is an anomaly thank God, but the military is trying to get help for its soldiers. When the news/family wants to blame the victims (medical staff) and the military, I have a problem with this. I do not have the urge to hurt anyone…we still make our own choices. SGT Russell made a choice…his choice. A tragic choice that he will have to live with…it is not the fault of innocent soldiers that he was broke, and chose to kill. The fact is that he was at a mental health clinic by a command referral! Either way, I am safe. Outside of this event in Baghdad, our base here at Balad has been pretty quiet over the past several weeks. It has been at least a week since our last attack. We did learn that our base and Mosul are the two most attacked bases in Iraq…comforting. Our newest threat is apparently snipers. Fortunately, there have been no reports of any small arms fire. Summer has fully arrived here in Iraq. It is regularly over 110 degrees now. Check out our thermometer from last week.

It is not even June yet! But hey…it’s a dry heat! You know why they say that…because at this temp all the freaking water has evaporated! Also, with this big heat wave came the worse sandstorm that I have experienced since being in Iraq. It was a clear beautiful day, walked to lunch…then you see this literal wall of sand coming. We just made it back into the clinic when it hit. Below are some pictures of this storm.

I have shown this view in several previous letters. You can not even see what structures are across the street. If you look there are two people walking on the sidewalk. They are seriously no more than 40-50 yards away. Below is another picture but is the backside of our clinic. When you look at this picture, remember it is about noon. It was a beautiful clear day approximately 15 minutes prior to this picture. Behind the tent there is a tree…cannot even see it. Welcome to our colony on Mars!

This area of the clinic is our ambulance entrance. The two trucks are indeed ambulances which in the military are known as FLAs (front line ambulance). When the crosses are displayed (or crescent if from a Muslim nation, Star of David for Israel) it means that they are on a medical mission/have a patient which by Geneva Convention means that they are supposed to be “off-limits” for attack. When the crosses are displayed they also cannot attack nor do anything that would be considered offensive (attacking). So there are flaps to cover the crosses when not doing medical missions. (Tangent warning) - I think that the US is one of the few nations that actually try to follow the Geneva Convention. We already know that our enemies do not care about it as they like to cut off American’s heads. I guess this makes water-boarding seem like child’s play. I am just not sure if we can really get intelligence from terrorist (one’s whose agenda is to cause fear/pain) without getting our hands a little dirty. I promise you after being over here; they would not hesitate to torture us…but not just for information. I find it troubling that we have a ruthless enemy here (Iraq and Afghanistan) and America feels like we need to investigate/prosecute Americans trying to keep us safe. I am not saying torture is correct, but what we did is hardly torture. I can tell you another time of the torture items I saw with my own eyes in Afghanistan and the mass graves of women and children. Maybe our leaders should see some of these sites before going after our CIA. (Tangent over).

We just named our sidewalks in our living area. This helps me find my CHU (room) when I have those late night drinking binges. Anyway, Travis Welch and Bryan McFarland and I all live on the same “street” (all Butler grads). Below is the name of our street:

Butler University now has a “street” named after it in Iraq! Beneath the “street sign” you are looking down one of our internal bunkers that we have to get into if we have an IDF (indirect fire attack – mortar/rocket) that is coming into our sector. Sitting on top of the bunkers are T-Walls which are very reinforced concrete slabs that will stop a mortar/rocket. If you look at the top of the T-walls you will see a ton of wires…looks like a shanty town. These are all wires for the internet. Most of them are not really connected to anything. It is just easier to restring wire than to try to find its origin and pull it all out. It actually provides some nice shade though. Here is another picture of our beloved Butler Bulldog Boulevard:

The arrow below the street sign is a typical military sign. It is to show you the way out of the housing area in case of fire. Really! I would have never guessed. The building seen through the gap in the bunker wall is the PX (store). It is seen in the first sandstorm picture above but is almost invisible. Gives you another idea of how bad that storm really was. Below is a random picture of my roommate.

It is taken just outside my chu: This little sparrow is one of the loudest creatures on Earth! At least his song is pretty. He likes to make sure that I am up early to be able to get to the gym. I need to think of a name…maybe I will take some suggestions. I have yet another random type picture…if you recall in a previous letter I talked about how we (soldiers) like to paint some of the T-walls to give some color to our Lunar landscape. Anyway, here is our T-wall that was recently painted in our company area:

All companies have a motto/mascot. We are the Guardian Medics, and our symbol is an Arch-Angel. This is our unit/deployment picture. I think it is pretty cool when you think that it was painted on gray drab piece of concrete with crappy brushes and paint. The final set of pictures for this letter is in my tradition of trying to show you some mundane things to show you some of our daily areas. Below is of our restroom (when not using port-a-johns), and our shower area.

This is one of two porcelain toilets we have for the men. The stuffed animal is for Alan Antao (and my PA students)…See it is possible to get this on toilet seats! Anyway…looks cozy. I especially like the nice pattern on the wall tile. This pattern can be seen everywhere here. The toilets work most of the time, but they have low pressure which is why we need to keep the plunger close. Below is one of our three showers for about 60 guys.

Again, admire the wall tile. This tile has a nice mold accent that seems to be resistant to all known forms of bleach. That is a window on the left, but it is covered with sandbags on the other side. I will finish this letter with some email stories that I received that I think are very are very pertinent for this letter. The first is for a major shout out to all my PA students who have finished a long year, but especially to the new graduates that now get to fly from the nest. They are all awesome and I am so very proud of them. The story below is for them to help keep them grounded as they enter the very scary “real world”. The story is a pretend story about the right of passage a boy must take to become a man:

"His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a man. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat there, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man... Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him."

I liked this story, it is appropriate for all of us, but especially for these new graduates and their new jobs/lives…sitting on a stump with the perception of being alone…not so! Please stay in touch, all the faculty and especially me, will always be around to help as we can. Shelby, please tell our babies this story and let them know that I will always be there watching over them as well. The last story that I was sent gives a picture of the average American Soldier currently deployed overseas. I would say that it is pretty accurate. I thought that it was appropriate with the horrible events that happened in Baghdad this week.

“The average age of the military man is 19 years.. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment either. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must. He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional. He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march. He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity. He is self-sufficient. He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry. He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low. He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands. He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job. He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all. He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime. He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed. He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to 'square-away ' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking. In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful. Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years. He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood. And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so. As you go to bed tonight, Pray for our military...use the prayer wheel below: Prayer Wheel 'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need... Amen."

I think those two stories sum up my feelings pretty well. Thank you to all the support. It is getting better as I will be home in less than 90 days! I am planning on having a home coming party and would like to have everyone who gets this letter to come. Continue to pray for all of us and our families. Thank you to Dean Andritz for your very kind and humbling words that you gave on my behalf at the hooding ceremony. Thank you PA3 students for wearing a pin on your regalia on my behalf. I am humbled. NEVER FORGET the freedoms and opportunities that you have in America. NEVER FORGET that you live in the greatest nation on Earth. NEVER FORGET that sacrifices that all our soldiers, sailors, Marines and Airman give for all of our freedoms.

God Bless:

Major Roscoe